That thing happened a few weeks ago.
One of those things in life that would be more convenient if it didn’t happen.
Alas, I bled on my boyfriend’s sheets.
Woke up, lifted the covers and yep, I definitely had.
I have been in this sitch before but it was back when we lived in our own place. Easy peezy – I could just wash the sheets myself in my own time.
This occasion was a little different… allow me to paint the picture… mid morning, we were going camping, planning on leaving asap. Therefore, I had to do something about it before we left. He lives with his parents. I could hear his Mum was already up in kitchen, and the laundry conveniently is located right next to it. There was no scope for a quick wash. I had to factor in necessary soaking time which we didn't have.
Initially, I felt a wave of absolute anxiety, embarrassment & acute stress. And then, I was able to catch myself… I took a deep breath.
I remember it so clearly! It actually felt like time stopped. I’ve had many moments like this on my journey of awakening. Maybe you know what I'm speaking to here - It almost feels like a crossroads. I witnessed as two sides of my self played out. There was the old paradigm, the feelings of anxiety, shame, embarrassment & get me the fuck outta here. – fight/flight mode. This reaction being a product of society’s general rejection of menstruation.
The new paradigm said clearly and softly - I’m a woman. I bleed. I bled during the night. Some landed on the sheets. No biggie babe.
I was fully aware. I kept breathing to my belly. I knew this situation was going to require all of my consciousness.
It felt like a challenge, an opportunity to embody the inner work & healing around menstruality that I’ve been doing since the start of this year.
Another deep breath.
“It’s all good babe, I’m just going to take the sheets downstairs.”
As I walked down each stair, I felt like my higher self was giving me a pep talk “I know this situation isn’t ideal and makes you feel very vulnerable but you’ve actually got this Mandy.”
I arrived in the kitchen with a strange sense of calmness and of course, his Mum handled it like a boss. She looked at me with that smile us women exchange when we ‘get it.’ Together we put the sheets to soak. When boyf came down for breakfast his Mum and I had a little smirk between us, we’d just shared a moment. A little bonding experience, if you will.
Returning back from our weekend away, she’d put fresh sheets on the bed. Mums are awesome like that.
This little situation, it gave me a chance to show myself how something that would've felt like a nightmare in the past could actually be a non-issue. It was my choice.
Sadly, many of us, including myself, learned early on that this natural part of life is to be hidden, not spoken of, ‘it’s gross’. Gah, it just makes me sad even writing that. The truth is it’s never too late to let something go that no longer serves us.
If you’re open or curious about creating a healthier relationship with your menstrual cycle, I think it’s time for you to read Adore your Cycle.